Hunter and I waited until we had been married almost a year before we started trying to have a baby. We thought we'd probably succeed by the fall. So we had a fabulous anniversary and I was pregnant 2.5 seconds later.
Honestly, folks, it was stunning. Having it happen so quickly left my emotions stuck in neutral. And it was hard at first because I felt terrible, couldn't tell anyone and started to look like I was overeating. When I wasn't sleeping at my desk or breaking down in tears over eHarmony commercials.
I started to play the Impossible Expectations Game -- you know, I should be glowy and happy and impossibly in love with this baby as soon as the home pregnancy test read positive. And because I wasn't any of those things, I'm a terrible person and I'll be a terrible mother. Then, more tears as Hunter hugs me in the kitchen while thinking, I married a crazy person and someone in the Cooper family should have warned me.
That all changed yesterday. (Well, the mixed-feelings part. I'm still crazy in that in-touch-with-all-emotions way.)
We heard the heartbeat for the second time, and it was in a different spot, loud and strong. I needed to hear it, because recently I've been having mild panics if I go for a few hours without pregnancy symptoms. (Then they come back and I resume complaining.)
In the middle of the rapid whoosh-whoosh-whoosh, there's this sound like a microphone hitting the floor. I thought the doctor had lost her grip on the handle, but she said, "Oh, the baby kicked!" Then the whoosh-whoosh-whoosh quickly faded and went silent, and she said, "Baby swam away."
People, the baby KICKED and then SWAM AWAY. By that time I was crying with joy and surprise on the exam table. He or she moved and kicked, and it was amazing. I'm 15 weeks and four days pregnant, and I'm in.
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