Maddie's mother, Michelle, gave me her set of pregnancy reading when Hunter and I shared our news with family in the fourth week. Among the books about names, getting the baby to sleep, and other supportive stuff for pregnant women was a magazine that shows full-color pictures of a fetus developing in utero.
I don't know who made the magazine, how they got the pictures or even the name of the magazine because ... I can't bear to look at it.
I'm not sure why I have such an aversion to these pictures. My stomach butterflies just thinking about looking at them. Is it because they're graphic? Because I'm more comfortable with an idea than the real thing? You all know that I'm a big geek, so this should be right up my alley. But I can't seem to even pick it up from its spot in the Pregnancy Library next to my bedside table.
Hunter and Maddie page through it periodically to examine the pictures and talk about how the baby is growing. Yesterday morning, Maddie was hanging out in our room as I got ready for work when she asked me to show her a picture of the baby.
I walked out of the bathroom and hesitated, briefly, because kids can smell fear. Then I picked up the magazine and quickly flipped to the right page. While I examined the ceiling fan and checked for gremlins in the closet, I pointed: "Here, yeah, there, something like that." Then I ran back into the bathroom and hid under a towel.
There's silence, and I dread what's coming: Maddie asking me what my huge, adult, silly problem is. Under the towel I try to think of an answer that doesn't involve "ble-e-e-c-h" and other fake retching sounds when she announces:
"This baby looks like an alien." The she drops the magazine on the pile and skips out of the room.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
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