It's 10:15 last Friday night and pumpkin pie is suddenly essential for my life and happiness, and my husband doesn't care because he's tired from moving stuff from the second floor to the garage so that I can nest properly.
"I want pumpkin pie."
He looks at me, grabs the remote and crashes on the couch.
"Not just a slice, but the whole pie. And not cut into slices but cut into little bite-size pieces like you did that time for Maddie's class so I can eat a thousand tiny little bites and eat most of the pie and not feel like I've eaten most of the pie. Also, so I don't need a fork."
Sex and The City is on. The cat jumps on his lap and gets comfy, and now Buddy is dead to me because it's close to impossible to get up once that 18-pound cat is on you.
"I want pumpkin pie."
"We have ice cream."
"I don't want that."
"No one has pumpkin pie right now. It's almost eleven on Friday night."
"Shari's has it. Shari's is open twenty-four hours a day and has freshly made pies. I bought one once at one in the morning."
A look. Why did I buy a pie at one in the morning? I'm not sure now. Before I was married I did many things at one in the morning that seem absurd now, like grocery shopping, laundry and having several martinis in public.
"You have no answer for that, do you? So now you know there is pumpkin pie out there and you're refusing to get it for me. You don't love me enough. You knocked me up and now you're refusing to get me the one thing I want, right now."
"You're right. I'm refusing. Have some ice cream! I do love you, see. I'm watching Sex and The City!"
"Fine, I'm letting this go because I'm sure I'll have other cravings that we won't be able to laugh about. You'll know you have to go then because I won't be laughing."
"Fair enough."
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5 comments:
gasp!
I want you to bring this up during labor.
"REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU WOULDN'T GET ME MY PUMPKIN PIE!!!!????"
Hunter! I am stunned!
I offer these three facts in my defense:
1. I hate "Sex and the City." It's the same thing every episode. It was funny for a season or two, and then got old (or maybe I got old, which could be part of the problem). Anyway, Kathleen LOVES that show and I watched it with her that night. And it's the cleaned-up network version, so I don't even get to see nekid women or the most profane jokes.
2. A couple of days later, Kathleen was feeling lethargic and just couldn't muster the energy to get up and get going for the day. So Maddie and I went to Starbucks and got her a tall, nonfat, no whip, extra hot, half-decaf mocha. I had to practice that order over and over because I don't drink coffee - never have - and don't have the foggiest idea what any of that means.
3. Did I mention that I had to watch "Sex and the City"?
Hunter is telling the truth about my pretentious coffee order. And he is so uncomfortable ordering it that it is very sweet that he did it anyway. That story paints him in a good light and therefore isn't funny, so that's why I didn't mention it.
But the pumpkin pie episode is definitely on the Labor List of Wrongs.
Dude,
Ordering coffee and laying around watching fabulous TV do not count as sacrifices. Child labor is a sacrifice, man.
L
I think your problem was that the George family detests pumpkin pie. Now if your craving had been for brownies or pecan pie the old man might have bought into it. By the way have you tried Mayfield's white chocolate raspberry swirl slow churn ice cream? Yummmmmmm
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